#of a tesco meal deal

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

peer reviewed tags via @a-commas-a-pause because there are so many things to make fun of us for and yet you managed to find one thats just not applicable

Too tired to draw but I still need everyone to be aware of this bizarre interaction I had at work this morning

[louthesawgirl]

What each Saw character would get as a Tesco meal deal (scientifically accurate)

Hello everyone, I decided as my debut long Saw shitpost, I thought I would decide what meal deals different Saw characters would opt for if they stumbled into a Tesco and were a bit peckish after setting up a few traps.

If you’re not from the U.K. or Ireland and are not familiar with the British & Irish institutions of a meal deal, it’s basically a packaged sandwich, pasta pot, salad, bit of sushi maybe alongside a snack item and a drink for a fixed price (it used to be around £3/ €4 but the shops are taking the piss now). Meal deals are considered a treasured institution here and are an indication of your personality. People judge your character based on what you get between two slices of cheap bread.

Here’s what different Saw characters would get for a Tesco meal deal:

Adam (Faulkner) Stanheight

1. Southern fried chicken chipotle mayo sub

2. Doritos cheese flavour

3. Vimto still drink

Judging on how we know Adam is quite an unorganised adult struggling to adult most days, I would assume he opts for high energy foods to keep his tastebuds happy. Cheese, spiced chicken and fruity drinks seem up his street. Plus, Vimto is a very Mancunian thing and if Saw was set in the U.K., there’s no way Adam would not be from Manchester.

Dr Lawrence (Larry) Gordon

1. Eat Your Greens Feta Salad

2. Apple & Grape snack pot

3. Chilled Iced Latte

I feel like because Larry is a doctor, he prioritises convenience but also eats healthily. I also imagine him to be meat free/ vegetarian so that explains the feta & greens salad (I don’t think he’d be vegan though, he seems like he loves proper cheese too much). Larry seems like he’d always be carrying breath mints or tictacs to minimise the cheese or coffee breath- nobody needs a waft of that when being told they’ve got 6 months left to live.

Amanda Young

1. BLT sandwich

2. Walkers Thai Sweet Chilli Sensations Crisps

3. Monster Energy drink (chosen based on packaging colours to match mood)

Amanda is a busy lady planning traps and building contraptions designed to almost certainly kill people. She seems like she enjoys a bit of spice along with classic comfort combinations.

John Kramer

- Chicken & bacon sandwich

- Egg snack pot

- Green smoothie

John seems like he’s mindful of what he puts into his body considering he’s consistently a salt & vinegar crisp away from death with the cancer and all. He’s also a very smart man so he would know the best value for money combination with a meal deal is getting an overpriced fruit smoothie for a drink.

Mark Hoffman

- All Day Breakfast sandwich (triple)

- Walkers Max Salt & Vinegar crisps

- Red Bull

Mark seems like he can’t get enough of bacon & sausage, even though it’s cold and not exactly very fresh. Maybe he’d even have a bit of HP brown sauce with it. Mark would also probably make immature jibes towards vegans and vegetarians because he’s that kind of man. Considering Mark works overtime setting up traps and evading capture, all he’d be drinking by the events of Saw 7 would be energy drinks.

Jill Tuck

- Egg & Cress sandwich

- Arla strawberry protein yogurt

- Bottle of water

Jill is a bit… bland. I’m sorry but I just have to say it. Egg & cress perfectly summarises Jill’s personality as seen in movies 4-7 between two pieces of bread.

Peter Strahm

- Deli style cheese & pickle sandwich

- Smoked salmon sushi pack

- Pepsi Max

Strahm made some good decisions, some regrettable ones and one very very dumb decision during his time in the Saw universe. Just like his track record with making poor decisions, I’d guess Peter would get some supermarket sushi as a snack with his meal deal- not very fresh nor authentic and will leave you wondering why you couldn’t have got a pack of reliable crisps or a chocolate bar instead.

Lindsey Perez

- Feta & sundried tomato pasta

- Propercorn sweet & salty popcorn

- Fanta orange

Perez is a great character and so she would get a meal deal to reflect that. Why do I also imagine Lindsey being veggie?

Eric Matthews

- Meatball marinara sub

- Walkers Monster Munch Pickled Onion crisps

- Red Bull

I feel like this choice accurately reflects Eric. It’s a combination that’s maybe reflective of an immature palette, maybe even a sort of guilty pleasure combination. I wonder if he’d put the monster munch hands (or feet) on his fingers and eat them like that.

Hope you enjoyed my incredibly British saw shitpost x

[schadentekkers]

zack sabre jr + submissions pt. 2

[emerald-hobbit]

Procrastination at it's finest is stopping writing a fic to figure out a headcanon for John Constantine's preferred Tesco meal deal choice, and then posting said headcanon to Tumblr.

Here's what I came up with:

Chicken, Bacon and Stuffing sandwich

Either a Dr Pepper or a Red Bull depending on the day he's having

And either a Snickers or cheese and onion hula hoops

[whitegoldtower]

Cursed Idea me and my good lady wife thought of…

🎀Skyrim Characters and their Tesco Meal Deal of Choice 🎀

Ancano: Starbucks Caramel Latte, Fruit and Granola pot, Prawn Sandwich (and a strawberry ice elf bar)

Ondolemar: Red Bull, Sausage Roll, Pepperami (and a 50g of amber leaf from the baccy counter)

Elenwen: Kombucha, sushi, grapes in a pot (she also swerves to the back of the shop to get a cheeky mini prosecco)

Cicero: chicken caesar wrap, chocolate milk, cheese strings (and a blue raspberry lost mary)

Teldryn Sero: coke zero, all day breakfast sub, king sized twix (and a pack of L&B ciggies)

Neloth: doesn’t get the full meal deal, just gets a lemon iced tea, some satay chicken skewers or a giant veggie samosa and then sneaks out around the side of the shop to get a bump of sniff from the nearest junkie

[ynwa4eva]

I wish we had meal deals in germany ...

[spitinsideme]

new anon just dropped

i have a compulsion to study you under lab conditions so i need to ask this or i'll explode: do you have a favorite food? if so what is it?

-science anon

WOAH IM BEING EXPERIMWNTED ON !!! i remebe4 omce i saif soemthing and this person saif "you have such an interestibg mind i want to do tests on you" so thats great

ia actually hate most foods !! i dont really enjky eating ? not in a bad way all foods ksut suck to me so i dont enjoy it, i also forget to eat like all the time so ihave to b consatly reminded otherwide i willl loterally just not eat for days and survive off of water and juice ... i honestly have to be in the mood at the time to be ablr to ennly food so i will tell you now ehat foods i am .. most oftrn in the mood for ?

kebabs !! i fucking LOVE kebabs theres a place nesr me that sells kebabs snd i get the mkxed kebab and jts so fucking good i devour that dhif UP im moaning everyime i take a bite !!!!! they also have like jalapenos in there anf i loeyhemr sososdmuch ohdmygdodd

i also absolutely adore tesco meal deal sanfiwches .. i also get the triple sausage, bacon anf egg sandwich and likr uduslly paprika crisps, for drink i like to get cherry dr pepper (i love all things cherry) or like that fruit punch fanta which is super duper good i like fruity fizzy drinks aor sometime i get oasis i vrry kuch love oasis !!! i then might get jalapenos and cheese crips .. no one uderatandd hw much i fucking love jalapenos and cheese crips my legs tremble just sy the thoight of them they taste so fucking good like my eyes are watering just thinking about rhen becsude i lkve them so much

[gnomeantics]

I anonymously assume you consume the dubious sandwiches and other miscellaneous "meals" derived from deep within the cold bellows of British cornershops

you know what this is actually false i've somehow managed to never get more than a packet of crisps (& little baton baguette thing if it's m&s) to eat from a corner shop

[wrestling-goblin]

zack sabre jr really is an entire tesco meal deal isn't he?

[photos by sarah (www.newphotographystudios.com) at PWA 2023 colosseum tournament]

[securityholograms]

DJKT Plzeň • Company (2024)

[riacte]

Saw the word "outsider" and the Blood on the Clocktower drunk token immediately slammed into my mind's eye chat I'm so cooked. Drosioned even.

[melrosing]

this is one of the funniest conversations I’ve had on twitter

[flickerbit]

At the airport :))

[changing-my-username]

Back in my day, a Tesco's meal deal that didn't fill you up very much would cost £3.

[0zzysaurus]

Might go to Tesco express … I gotta check the freezer see what I might still have in this dump

[mercurialkrimpy]

First time in the UK and OMFG TESCO MEAL DEAL

YOURE TELLING ME I CAN GET ALL OF THIS FOR £3.90???? THATS LIKE LESS THAN 6 BUCKS CANADIAN

FOR 6 BUCKS I WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO GET A SANDWICH BACK HOME

WHY ISN'T THIS EVERYWHERE BRITISH PEOPLE PLEASE